A moment by moment account of history

I wouldn't normally do this, but I got so amped for this Giants-Patriots game today, I thought I'd share my thoughts as the game went along. If you don't like football, baseball will resume in my next post, but at some point you have to get priorities straight. I'm already annoyed with Brian Gumble's voice (is it appropriate to mimick Mickey Mouse on national television?) Rich Eisen's hair (or lack thereof) and Cris Collinsworth's general attitude. The one bright spot so far has been Jacobs running for positive yardage and Eli throwing an accurate pass further than 15 yards when he connected with Burress. But already Giants incompetance has reared its ugly head when Couglin challenged an incomplete pass where the player actually drops the ball completely in the replay. He didn't just cradle it out of bounds, he flat out dropped it, and the Giants lost a timeout as a result.

First Half:

8:22- FIRST DOWN BURRESS! Scoring first on the Patriots defense is so important, especially for the Giants at home. Especially before Randy Moss ties it and Eli has that "my hands were nowhere near the cookie jar" look on his face after Samuels or Roidney Harrison picks one.

8:23- Does the Patriots offensive coordinator snort coke? What a nose.

-Brandon Jacobs leaped for the endzone like it was the Superbowl. I think his ankle is OK. I think the Giants want to win. What's the over/under on Lawrence Tynes missing an important kick? Oh wait, is it no longer September?

8:29-Moss catch for a first down. And so it begins. My New Years resolution is for Wes Welker to remember he sucks and Moss to act more like Warren Sapp, than....Randy Moss

8:32-Moss gets a first down on 4th and 2. I liked the opposition going for it on 4th down a lot more in Madden video games than real life.

8:39- The Patriots kick a field goal and we go to commercial. The Patriots kick it off and we go to commercial again. Is this what the NFL Network is like? Then I get to see some truck that looks like The A Team passed it up. This is starting to feel dangerously close to MTV.

8:48-Cory Webster is on my imaginary hit list. This is the perfect example of being a Giants fan. We sack Brady and seemingly kill their drive, it looks like New York might lead headed into the second quarter and then a ridiculous penalty gives the Patriots hope on the drive. Now Brady gets back-to-back first downs and Welker looks like Cris Carter.

8:53- I have officially seen more Peyton Manning so far than his brother. It could be because Eli tends to disappear in that helmet.

8:55-That didn't last long. 10-7 Pats and Brady and Moss each tie their respective records, while the Patriots set the single season points record. Any more records and I'll stick Carl Pavano in that locker room. Though, knowing him, he would only be healthy for the bye week.

8:58-Keep excessively celebrating, Randy. 14-10 Giants.

9:05-"The backside catches up here. You see the penetration from the front and it allows the backside to get a little deeper." Umm, what?

9:11-The Giants have some guy named "Boss" on their team? And he is a giant (no pun intended) white guy at tight end like Shockey? Don't look too deeply into this, but I feel like football, more than any other major sport, lacks diversity at each position, it's both uncanny and almost comical. Except Wes Welker, of course. Now Rodney Harrison just had a steroid fit.

9:23-Note to self: Draft Gostkowski next season when your teams are competitive in fantasy.

9:29-O'Hara is down because David Diehl fell into him. A holding penalty pushed them back to the 15 instead of the 35. Can you guys save self destruction and the apocalypse for the second half, please?

9:33-Emotions are getting tense. Wilfork thinks his name is Curly and he has Ants in the Pantry. Poking through the face mask? Welcome to the 2007 New England Patriots.

9:36-My Mom makes her first "he's cute" reference to Tom Brady without having any idea who he is...Meanwhile Burress gets mugged in the endzone before the ball reaches him and there are no flags, but yeah, the Ravens and Colts had absolute conspiracies working with them when the Patriots barely beat them because New England played "sloppy".

9:39-Watch out Jeremy, we might have to change that jersey to say "Pipp". Kevin Boss gets a touchdown and the Giants are shocking the world with a 21-16 halftime lead.

Second Half:

9:58- Barely stopped Moss from a big first down on the opening drive. Brady has a ridiculous knack for keeping himself off the ground. I haven't seen the Meadowlands like this since the 41-0 win over the Vikings in the NFC championship. Somewhere members of the '98 Broncos are scratching their heads. Somewhere else Mercury Morris is starting to feel weak in the knees.

10:05- The Giants lead by more than one score?  The Patriots are facing their biggest deficit of the season. Is this the same sort of joke as the Juan Gonzalez signing with the Yankees rumor from earlier today? Eli has three touchdowns against about 18 Pro Bowlers. I can't even say he's Peyton reincarnated because Rodney Harrison would have two picks by now.

10:10- I just saw a commercial with a man and his son following their roots to a scandanavian country. They were experiencing all the local color before they realized thanks to the hall of records that they were actually Swedish. I think it was a card commercial. My question is, why does this foreign countries hall of records know the actual roots of this family if they aren't from there in the first place?

10:15-Welker has just changed from Cris Carter to Santana Moss in 2006 to Jerry Rice. He absolutely killed the Giants on this drive and the blatant interference call on (Randy) Moss didn't help. New York is absolutely frightened by Randy, yet they have held him relatively in check. Maroney could have crawled into the endzone, 28-23.

10:25- Eli is answering the call so far. Jacobs drops a ball and then on third down Manning makes another big play. It's like the one ridiculous miracle a Giants fan sees every five years is battling with their natural tendencies while the Pats watch.

10:29-One more quarter and then one or two things might happen

1. I stop hearing snippets of the Drop Kick Murphy's song "I'm Shipping up to Boston" that has played on four seperate commercial breaks (so much for any New York music).

2. I might witness my team single handedly reverse all momentum in sports that went from NY to Boston...Until of course, the Celtics or Patriots wins the championship.

10:32- Kevin Faulk reminds me of the movie "Get Shorty".

10:34- What will become more important? The timeout Brady used to prevent the delay of game, or the delay of game itself?

10:37- So far, the timeout is winning. Giants ball.

10:41- Two ugly plays and then a timeout. It's third down and I'm starting to get that "life isn't fair" feeling in the pit of my stomach. This is like lying on train tracks and seeing if it will run you over this time.

10:46- Two more records and a Patriots lead. Plus two more on the conversion. The Giants need to march down the field here or tip their cap and call the Patriots their "Daddy".

10:52- A great return and a penalty. A good run and a penalty. Where did my Giants of 15 minutes ago go? Furthermore, I have Dolphins tickets for tomorrow, is this what I have to look forward to?

10:55-Hobbs with an interception. Oh, hello Mr. Manning, we've been expecting you. Quickly Eli is going from season tickets in Hank Steinbrenner's private box to season tickets in Mike Lupica's column.

11:01- Welker with 11 catches, 123 yards. Hmm, double teaming Moss all night and Welker gets 120 yards. I remember somebody predicting that.

11:02- Get ready for history. Twenty two unanswered and counting.

11:09- Two minute warning and the Giants seem to be playing like it's still the first half. It's a two score game and they are still running the ball, not going out of bounds and crawling to the line of scrimmage. Sometimes I understand why Tom Coughlin is such a jerk and coach hoodie has no soul.

11:17 Burress gives the secondary a stroke, they fall and he one hands a touchdown. I'd be curious to see his numbers if he actually went to practice.

11:19-Vrabel catches the onsides kick, this should do it. Onsides kicks are tense in these situations.

38-35, Patriots. Easily the best game of the season. And I called the 38 points by New England. The Giants certainly played better than I think even Giants fans such as myself expected and I'm proud of them. If they can maintain this adrenaline and intensity for the playoffs, Jeff Garcia might finally meet his doom against New York.

They may have a lot of beards, they may have used cameras for who knows how long on the opposition, they may have stolen Seau and Moss, but 16-0 is one hell of a feat. The path only gets harder from here, I wouldn't want to face the Jaguars or the Colts (with a healthy Harrison) right now. But even though the Patriots have looked extremely human in December, congratulations on something none of us ever thought we would see. Most of all, congratulations to Tom Brady, for being a Yankees fan, for going to University of Michigan and for being perhaps the most clutch player I have seen in any sport.